Another old lang syne

I’m tapping away at my laptop late in the afternoon of New Year’s Eve, alternately gazing out on a gray, drizzly day.

There are no grand plans for a night out or even a night in, for that matter. It’s quiet (aside from the endless tinnitus-induced ringing in my ears) and no one will grace the threshold to shatter the solitude. By most definitions, I will spend New Year’s Eve alone.

This doesn’t make me sad nor does it surprise me. Since my son entered the United States Naval Academy back in June 2016, pretty much every holiday has taken on a different shape, which continues now that my daughter is at the United States Air Force Academy. New Year’s Eve is no exception.

It started slowly, with the Midshipman not able to come home for a birthday. Over the past few years, he’s spent several holidays – Christmas and New Year’s Eve included – underwater as a submarine officer. The cadet has spent the last two Thanksgivings fulfilling her obligations as a cheerleader at the whims of the Air Force football team.

As a parent, you follow the lead of your kids and FIO (figure it out) and make the best of it. Sometimes it’s bringing a birthday cake to a Sprint Football game, other times it’s surprising your daughter by showing up in the stands at a home game. Some take a little more, like packing up a birthday card and Christmas gifts for your son to open while he is underway, wondering where he is and if he even really knows it’s Christmas Day.

I find that on these holidays when we are apart, I don’t dwell on the separation. And here at the end of the year, I find myself thinking mostly about the time we did get to spend together.

🥂 On base at Zero Dark Thirty on a Sunday morning in May, trying to keep my chin from quivering while hugging him before he hopped on the bus to take him to his second deployment, thinking that just a few hours prior we had been strolling through a Walmart as he picked up supplies, as if it were just another shopping trip.

🥂 Dusting off my DSLR photo skills to capture her cheering at Clune arena, catching one last hug at halftime before heading back to the airport.

🥂 My daughter giving up her two summer breaks to join me on adventures to five national parks and being so patient as I drove endlessly across the upper Midwest to cross states 44, 45, and 46 off my list of states visited (I would manage 47 later in the summer with an old friend) … and seeing the smile on her face when I surprised her with her first horseback ride in a decade. Of course, our submariner was supposed to join us but his deployment got bumped back … Semper Gumby.

🥂 Overcoming a mountain of logistics to engineer the three of us being together for the first time in a year and a half, the first time he had ever seen his sister in the role of cheerleader. And, of course, the first time we ever played Party Animals together, spending four or five hours laughing hysterically, eating Doritos and eating too much ice cream. We were together less than 36 hours but we enjoyed every minute.

🥂 Then, of course, came our first Christmas together in four years. There was no massive tree, no pile of presents, and even though we were in Florida, no beautiful weather. But waking up together and exchanging a few thoughtful and heartfelt gifts made it one of the most memorable Christmases ever.

That is what I will celebrate with this evening. There will be no people, no champagne corks to pop, but I will be swaddled in some amazing memories of the two people who give me the most gratifying role on the planet – their father. And it is because of them that I know 2024 will be special, whatever it may hold.