3 is the magic number

They say good things come in threes and after this past weekend, whom am I to argue?

Over the course of seven-plus years as a military academy parent, I’ve come to accept certain things and one of them is quite simple, logistics are a challenge. And I don’t mean logistics for a military operation, I’m talking about just about anything involving your cadet.

Sending a package is simple, right? Well yes and no. Sure, you can follow all the protocols – make sure you send it to the right address not the P.O. box! – and even though the postal service shows it has been delivered, your cadet will let you know that they are empty-handed. 

Most difficult of all, in my experience, is planning time together. Set the plan in motion months in advance or days, and it won’t matter. Get assurances from your cadet for weeks that they have the all-clear, and it won’t matter. Account for every variable imaginable, double- and triple-check your plans, and it can all evaporate in the snap of a finger.

Not that it matters, but the reason can be anything from a squadron being put on restriction for some poor behavior to a coach scheduling a last-minute practice to the old standby, weather (and Lord knows, Colorado Springs can whip up some weather with no notice).

We met these challenges early and followed the guidance of parents who had gone before us – just roll with it. Last year, I orchestrated an air-tight plan to bring the kids together in the Springs for a weekend, securing a spacious AirBnB to accommodate all manner of meals and games and general shenanigans. We’d be together Friday evening, all day Saturday (including getting to watch Cate cheerlead at a basketball game), and enjoy a leisurely Sunday morning breakfast before Cate headed to Las Vegas for the Mountain West basketball tournament, Noah headed back to Kings Bay, Georgia for his second deployment aboard the USS Florida, and I returned home with a bevy of great memories to sustain me until the next time. Perfect.

Except Noah’s deployment got pushed up two weeks, which meant he wouldn’t be able to make it at all and since they hadn’t been together since the previous summer, they would go at least a full 15 months without seeing each other. Then Cate learned she would not only have to report to the Academy early Saturday morning but leave for the conference tournament immediately following the game. My brilliant, air-tight plan ended with me alone in the big, rented house.

However, most academy parents learn to embrace resiliency as a key trait and sometimes that pays off. It did for us.

I wouldn’t want to calculate the odds of this happening because it would certainly drop the jaw of even the most tenacious gambler but this past weekend, we completed an amazing trifecta – during Noah’s five-month off-crew, we managed to get all three of us together three times. It was a close call scheduling a visit for the last football game of the season in November but Noah’s boat amazingly made it back when expected and the paperwork gods smiled and his leave was approved, though admittedly with little time to spare and he was on the ground in Colorado less than 36 hours. But they had finally been together and he got to see her as a cheerleader, which meant a lot to both of them.

We also managed our first Christmas together in several years and since we planned to meet just a couple of hours from Noah’s home, it was time for Cate to provide the logistical challenge. But she arrived from the football bowl game in plenty of time and Noah again was able to get away from his PNEO (Potential Nuclear Engineering Officer) training enough to spend several days. 

Both Cate and I proved we aren’t always fast learners with this last trip. While we didn’t have a lot of options – this was the only game that Noah’s schedule would allow him to attend – it was again the last home basketball game of the season, which meant Cate would again be reporting to the Academy early Saturday and leaving right after the game. Meanwhile, Noah’s leave request languished on a desk for weeks because, well, Navy. Just like November’s trip, he got the approval in the nick of time and this time he actually took leave, giving us two days together before we would see Cate.

I cannot stress enough how grateful and thankful I am to be able to spend time with my son just before he deploys. Calls and text messages are fine but being able to talk about what’s on his mind and even the little things like what he would like me to take care of while he’s away, it provides a great deal of comfort to me and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I hope it does for him too.

It’s never smooth sailing, though, right? I came down with a rather unpleasant bout of food poisoning just before I left, which would make our scheduled hike up the Barr Trail more challenging than I expected. I mean, I know I’m out-of-shape but even I was a bit embarrassed at how much I struggled to complete our two-mile up-and-back hike. But we did it. And I know the kid who loves the outdoors and would soon be sealed back up in a small metal tube underwater loved every minute of it. 

We were able to spend Friday night together and, as is now apparently our tradition, play several rounds of the ridiculous game Party Animals, laughing the entire time. Noah and I decided to go with Cate early to the Academy and watch her practice, which we both enjoyed. Afterward, Cate sprinted up the stairs and brought up something she had mentioned in passing, something I really hadn’t given a lot of thought.

“Come on Noah, we’re going to do hands,” she said as we made our way to the cheer studio.

Now hands is a basic cheerleading stunt – basic, but not exactly easy. In a nutshell, somehow, the girl gets up in the air, supported by a guy holding her by the feet. It’s quite a display of strength, agility, and balance for both. And Cate wanted her brother to do it, her former football player now committed cross-fitter brother who had never attempted such a thing in his life.

But clearly, this meant a lot to her.

She asked a couple of her teammates to instruct Noah and they eagerly showed him the basic “how to” but also some of the subtle nuances – “squeeze her shoes really hard, that shows her you really have her, it’s confidence.”

Always up for a challenge Noah asked a few questions, repeated the instructions back for confirmation, and then took his position behind Cate and a partner. Then 1, 2, 3, she was standing in his hands, beaming ear-to-ear. He was, too.

Cate stole a few extra minutes with us at halftime and told us this would be goodbye for now. We watched the game with some interest but mostly watched Cate and her teammates while we  talked about things like the podcast we were working on, an HTML project he was nodding through, and “hey, you want another Gatorade?”

Cate waved as she left the court and we headed out, knowing the next morning would be an early one, which it was. 

As we stood outside the airport entrance before the sun had come up, we hugged, said “I love you,” and he went on his way. As I stood and watched, he stopped, turned, and said, “Thanks for pulling this weekend together. It meant a lot and I know it wasn’t easy.” Then he disappeared into the crowd.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and slowly sank back into the rental car’s front seat. We had defied the odds three times in five months. It had taken countless phone calls and messages, endless internet searches for AirBnBs and flights, countless messages about leave and schedules, and, in general, a million potential failure points. The plans changed, morphed, and evolved numerous times. There was abundant doubt, concern, and frustration.

And you know what, it was all worth it. No, it was more than worth it. For the three of us, three is the magic number, indeed.