Now in my ninth year as a military academy parent, of the many lessons I have learned, none so consistently gets reinforced than the experience is a roller coaster ride. The mix of highs and lows can tax your adrenal glands and your emotional strength.
This Fall brought that lesson into focus for the Air Force Academy community.
August arrived with the normal mix of emotions – first-year parents celebrating their child’s emergence from Basic Cadet Training and fretting just a bit about the year to come, complete with a barrage of questions that made many of us experienced parents grin. The Class of 2025 parents began to realize the Parade of Lasts was now in full swing, the last two years disappearing faster than an F-15 on a covert mission. All in all, it was a pretty standard issue August, mostly one of the “highs.”
With a finger snap, that all changed. New superintendent Lt. Gen. Tony Bauernfeind and new commandant Brigadier General Gavin P. Marks announced a return to a stricter set of military standards including all cadets being restricted to base and a series of inspections. And thus, we entered an unexpected “low.”
Many parents chafed at the “new” way of life at USAFA. My son (the ’20 USNA graduate) and I, however, saw most of this as inevitable. During Cate’s entire time at the Air Force Academy, my son constantly marveled at how lax things appeared compared to his time in Annapolis. Leaving The Yard (as the Naval Academy campus is referred to) was a privilege allowed mostly to upperclassmen and almost exclusively on the weekend. The idea of leaving The Yard for a Wednesday meal was, at best, a pipe dream.
Other changes – uniform requirements, room inspections, etc. – brough a grin or chuckle from Noah. He would file all of that under SOP during his time at Annapolis. Now that he’s an officer, he’s learned that all of that was simply preparation for life in the real word of the military. You are told to do things that you don’t want to do without explanation and with that understanding you will do them without hesitation and without question.
There were unintended consequences, as you would expect with any major shift in policy, including Mitchell running low on food. This reminded both Noah and I of his time on the Navy Sprint Football team, when practices would often run past the closing of the King Hall meal-serving time. Without access to any other on-base options (and trying to avoid busting his budget with daily meal deliveries), he did what any academy attendee would do – he FIO (Figured It Out). His solution was a bucket of freeze-dried camping food. He would return each evening to his dorm room, boil water, prepare his meal, eat, and get on with studying deep into the night.
Again, my son saw this as more preparation for post-academy life. Aboard a submarine, they serve three meals a day. As a matter of practicality, he would usually get to eat two. He learned to adapt his packing for deployment to include snacks and meal replacements. The two-meal thing happened mostly because the planned schedule for the day went out the window about 10 minutes after it was complete. Almost every time he settled in for his planned eight hours of sleep, he would be awakened about halfway through for some issue or another, which would take him past the next mealtime.
As parents and cadets were adapting to this new way of life, one of the great “highs” arrived in the form of Parents Weekend. For first-year parents, this provided that first post-BCT hug. For 2025 parents, it marked one of the most important milestones in the Parade of Lasts, including the last trip to the Springs until graduation for many.
Coming off this high, the Cadet Wing (and parents) continued to adjust to the new AFA way of life and the 2025 parents began anticipating one of the highest highs of all – job drops. You could almost feel the roller coaster clicking up the tracks toward an apex – will my DS/DD get their dream job, the one they’ve been working toward forever? Will the job drops be livestreamed? Anyone heard about [insert squadron]? You could almost feel the adrenaline building in the Facebook groups and group messages.
Just as all the last-minute unknowns came into focus, another curveball. Rumors of job drops being delayed began to trickle in. Desperate for information, parents on Facebook pages asked for any sort of detail they could get their hands on. Unfortunately, speculation also began to run amok – maybe this was just another ploy from leadership to play with the cadets’ minds.
Eventually, though, all the concerns about room inspections and base restrictions and uniform requirements became so trivial that they ceased to exist. Vague rumors became fact – first-year United States Air Force Academy cadet Avery Koonce had been found unresponsive in her room. Attempts to revive the 19-year-old Texas native failed. The absolute lowest of lows, one that the Cadet Wing has endured far too often from to Hunter Brown to Christopher Scott Ryong Adams.
“We lost an incredible teammate… While only with us for a short time, Avery positively impacted her unit, her intercollegiate team, and her class – her loss will be felt across USAFA. Our team is focused on providing support to Avery’s family, Cadet Squadron 38, the Track and Field team, and the entire Academy family.” Academy Superintendent Lt Gen Tony Bauernfeind said.
Avery’s sudden and tragic passing served as a reminder that the men and women of the AFA Cadet Wing are not just receiving an academic education. They are preparing for serious and, at times, dangerous, leadership roles. They will be asked to handle situations more serious than most anyone they knew in their childhood. They often times will not be afforded the luxury of pausing to reflect and even mourn. These cadets will be asked, no, they will be expected, to focus on their assigned mission.
That is what they signed up for – not for parades, not for cheering in the Cadet section at a football game, not walking across the TZO. They have chosen to be – and been chosen to be – our military’s leaders. They are being trained to do just that, to deal with the dizzying highs and whipsaw lows and to do so with an unwavering focus on mission.
As we mourn Cadet Avery Koonce, as we offer support to a family grieving an unthinkable loss, we are reminded of what members of the Cadet Wing are committed to, what they aspire to become, and what challenges they will face on their journey.
We echo the words of the Academy – “Avery, may you find blue skies and tailwinds as you rest forever in peace,” – and know the Cadet Wing will get through this period of mourning together and continue on their paths to the challenges of Air Force leadership.
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My Kid The Cadet 
I disagree with using this cadet’s recent passing in the blog 1) because there is an ongoing investigation and 2) it is being used to sell a book that has been recently published.
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