When my son graduated from the Naval Academy, I quickly discovered there were still many lessons for me to learn. And my daughter’s graduation from the Air Force Academy taught me that wasn’t an isolated issue.
Once you get past that difficult first year (at either academy), there’s a certain cadence and while it remains a roller coaster with plenty of unexpected dips and turns, you learn to roll with it. The once-cryptic calendar makes more sense, and you learn how to plan your life around it.
Then they cross that stage, grab a diploma, shake a hand, snap off a salute and it all changes. A lot.
And for my nickel, that is never more evident than during the Winter holidays.
Both kids had different Decembers – my son finished finals and came home while my daughter stayed at AFA until it was time to go to a bowl game to cheer. But either way, by the time Christmas Eve rolled around, their rooms were absolute chaos, the laundry room was stacked high and they were in their comfies and sprawled out on the couch watching “A Christmas Story.”
Maybe your newly minted officer headed to a temporary duty or to training or was quickly thrust into their new role. Or maybe there was a significant other that became a fiancé or even a spouse. Bottom line, it’s unlikely they plunked that overstuffed green duffel bag in your foyer.
For us, getting together meant working around a submariner buried in power school. That didn’t seem ideal, until he was deployed the next Christmas and out of communication for more than a month. Suddenly, the power school logistics would have been welcome.
He landed in Kings Bay, Georgia and the schedule smiled upon us, finding him on dry land for Christmas. My cadet & I made our way to Daytona Beach and prepared for several days together. It didn’t quite work out that way. While we spent a lot of time together, duty called and he found himself back in the office for about half the time we were there.
By this time, though, I learned to enjoy those moments together rather than lament what could have been – or what some would say should have been.
Last year presented its own set of logistical challenges and your perspective shades how you would grade it. I found myself in an empty house on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Cue pity party, right? Not for me – I spent the days leading up to Christmas with my daughter and the days after Christmas, including New Years Eve and Day, with my submariner.
This year will be different still and that’s OK because I’ve learned to embrace the Native American proverb, “Do not try to push the river.”
I’m hopeful the current academy parents cherish every holiday moment, not fearing they will change, but embracing they will change and knowing they are building special memories. I’m hopeful parents of graduates will be able to celebrate the holidays in their own way – whether that’s together (perhaps not on the appointed days) or through a phone call or video chat. And for those who will be under radio silence, I’m hopeful you’ll soon be able to get that belated holiday hug sooner rather than later.
My Kid The Cadet 